Apparently it's not the end...yet.

There's a cliche when it comes to lesbians. Of course there's the "u-haul girlfriend" where 2 lesbians meet and immediate fall "in love" and within weeks, one is moving in with their pet cat in tow. But there's another cliche that I'm finding to be very true these days. And that is the one in which it takes several attempts and even more time (maybe even years) to break up.

And that is how I feel like me and Jen will be like forever.

As I mentioned before, Jen has/had a girlfriend. I recently went to LA to attend a concert (cough cough Spice Girls cough cough), and it was inevitable that I was going to see Jen. I kept telling my friends and myself that I was not going to see her. In fact, I really kind of didn't. The new girl I'm kind of seeing was worried. Alice, without making it obvious that she was mad, asked if I was going to see Jen. I told her that I wasn't sure. But that I would try hard to avoid the whole situation.

Well...I definitely saw Jen.

The thing is--everything was fine. We are always fine when we see each other. No matter how fucked up our situation is, we always have fun and we're always laughing. We talked. We talked about us. We talked about our new "girlfriends." She then informed me that she was breaking up with hers. She said she wasn't ready to be in a hardcore relationship.

So I left LA feeling new emotions for Jen. I didn't hate her. In fact, I realized how happy she made me. And how I was glad to still have her part of my life.

I don't know what our next step is going to be. Maybe we'll be friends for a bit. I don't know. She confuses me. Alice confuses me. I just need some time I guess.

Sigh.