So LA

A year ago around this time, one of my LA friends came for a visit. He's your typical celeb moocher--doesn't have a job, is still working on his "album" (it has already been 4 years...), and basically lives off his uber famous friend. Because of this, he constantly has VIP passes to any club, the best table at every restaurant, a constant stash of the best drugs and alcohol one can have, and the best part--being in the background of every paparazzi picture. What a life.

So when he came to visit, he invited me to his hotel for a little "get together." This get together had over 100 people. I arrived with a buddy of mine and we made our spot on the couch. Pretty soon, my friend comes in with a girl and tells her, "This is my friend I was talking about." I looked at her--she looks REALLY familiar. Where have I seen her before...

She sits down next to me and I realize who it is. Everyone knows who it is. She's famous. She's been in a few d-list movies and one really big TV show. So we're talking...I find out she's filming a movie in the city I live. She keeps brushing her hands on my legs. This is when I down my cocktail and look at my friend in the "What the fuck do I do" way.

I finally stand up and tell her I need to be heading out. It was just highly weird. I gave her my number and tell her to call me if she gets bored. When I get home, I immediately google her name and "lesbian." Yup, there have been suspicions. I should've known. Perez is always right.

The next day I get a text from actress. She asks me if I know of any good places to eat (I chuckled a bit...). I recommended my favorite sushi joint to which she asked me to join her. Later that night we met up and ate dinner and drank lots of wine. I asked her why she hasn't come out and she tells me she's just "having fun."

The night ends with more "having fun." She had the most amazing body I had ever seen and touched. Almost as if it was from the movies...oh wait.

We rarely speak these days. I get a few emails here and there just asking how I'm doing. In fact, I haven't seen her since that night. Perez still has his suspicions and the paparazzi has caught her several times with the same "girl." Well Perez--you're right. 100% correct. She's such a homo and I hope she's on the cover of People one day with the headline, "I'm Gay!" As for me, she ended up not being the only "celebrity" I hooked up with. But definitely a story for the books...