I am a douchebag.

I have a really really bad problem. When I really like someone...I'm a douchebag. And that is exactly what is going on right now.

I feel so very very bad for Lindsey right now. You can say that we "fight"...a lot. And in public. And in front of our friends. I don't know why I do it. All I can say is that I'm trying to be "cute" but really, I know that she is just getting annoyed.

I apologized to Lindsey after making a d-bag move on Friday. I bought her a card and wrote a cute little note (not cheesy, but not lovey dovey gay). Things were good. Then...I had to open my fucking mouth and say something stupid.

I don't know why I do this! I really like her. But it's hard. My friends say I have trust issues. And although I don't mean to be a cunt, I end up coming off really defensive and a Rude's Chris Steakhouse.

I'm sick of playing this game with her. I really am.