I’ve been going crazy lately. I haven’t seen this side of me in a long time. I can’t help but be drawn into you. It’s weird how things are working out. That first night we hooked up, I remember looking into your eyes and you asked me if I was sure. For the first time in a long time, I had never been surer. I went in for the kiss and as my eyes were closed feelings that I had held for years came pouring out into that one moment, into that one kiss. I knew from that moment on, that things would never be the same again. It was such a relief.
The truth is I’ve felt this way for a long time. I know you probably thought you were never on the main stage, but you were always in the back of my mind. It hurts sometimes because I don’t think you feel the same way. And I want to give all of myself to you. I want to break down my walls for you. I want you to see me for what I am. I want you to know how I really feel. But there are just no words to describe how I feel when I’m around you.
You have a way of making me feel incredibly nervous. You always say I’m warm, but it’s only because you’re next to me, touching and holding me. Every time I look into your eyes I am on the verge of tears because of how happy you make me. And when I wake up next to you in the morning, I automatically know everything will be ok.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I sometimes don’t know how to tell you how I really feel. My actions are merely reflections of how flustered I get when it comes to you. I want to be good for you. And I’m working really hard to gain your faith in me—in us. I don’t know where we’re going. I don’t know where we’ll be in 3 days or a week. All I know is how I feel at this very moment. And that is enough to keep me going. It’s enough to wake up in the morning and put a smile on my face, because there’s a chance I’ll see you today. That is all I look forward to.